Tin cup time
Once in a while I’m reminded that I’ve got a kind of Wizard of Oz effect going here—especially when someone asks if a member of my “staff” can get back to them with this or that information.
In fact, it’s just me behind the curtain. I see my entire staff each morning when I shave. Aside from Eliot the Webmaster, everything that happens in the world of PBB—from the blog to the forum to the resources and seminars—is my fault.
Number of employees of Focus on the Family,
largest Christian parenting organization in the US: 1,100
Number of employees of Parenting Beyond Belief,
largest nonreligious parenting organization in the US: 1
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It’s been a great pleasure to build this thing from the ground up, but as all Wizards know, smoke and fire and projected green heads don’t come cheap. So far the whole endeavor has been personally funded, and without getting into gory detail, let’s just say we’ve now hit something of a financial pothole. A recent meeting with my beloved shareholder made it clear that if this nonreligious parenting resource is going to continue in anything like its current form, I’m gonna need a little help from my friends.
(Psst…That’s all y’all.)
So…if and only if these resources have been useful to you, I’d very much appreciate a vanishingly small donation to help keep things going. I’ve placed a PayPal button in the sidebar for this purpose. With your help, maybe Tiny Tim can finally get that new crutch he’s always coveted.
Barring that, just bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch and we’ll call it square.
Thanks! –Dale
UPDATE (12/3): Oh my goodness, I’m getting verklemmt. Talk amongst yourselves. Within the first 18 hours, the generous members of the PBB community eliminated 14 percent of the site’s operating debt for 2008. Thanks so much for your help.
May we suggest…
I get a steady trickle of requests for my thoughts on the best science-oriented toys and games for kids. With Krismas fast approaching, the trickle has now grown to a burbling splurt. So I’ve spent the last few weeks researching the current product market, reading reviews, and haunting the Discovery Store to create a new page for the PBB website: Recommended Gifts.
The result is a list of 25 extremely cool and unique science-oriented gifts for kids. I’ve leaned toward the fun and wonder-inducing, as well as those least likely to end up under the bed by 4 pm on the 25th. There’s a microscope that hooks up to your PC, Smithsonian’s Crime Lab Investigation kit, laser chess, Boomwhacker musical tubes, a fossilmaker, and (I’m sorry, I’ve never stopped being intrigued by this since I first saw it at age seven) Newton’s friggin’ Cradle.
Perhaps best of all (here in the midst of our national post-trickle-down unpleasantness), 15 of the 25 items are under 25 bucks. All have been vetted for quality and the ability to reveal the “intoxicating wonders of the real world”1 to our kids. More to come in the weeks ahead.
Last and certainly least, ordering through these links will help support this website and the Parenting Beyond Belief Seminars. So shop early and shop often!
ALSO: The Resources page has been completely revamped to focus primarily on books and other resources that are reviewed in the upcoming book Raising Freethinkers.
OH AND THEN THERE’S THIS: A reminder that registration is now underway for the next three Parenting Beyond Belief Seminars, in Boston (December 6), Austin (December 13), and Chicago (January 24).
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1Parenting Beyond Belief, p. 222
The world holds its breath…
Tonight, sleep. Tomorrow, vote. See you Wednesday.
Home again, for a sec
Back in town after two talks, one seminar, and 1134 driving miles through gorgeous country in the western Eastern Time Zone.
Though I didn’t cross into Illinois (“Land of Lincoln”), I was hardly starved for references to the 16th President, whether in Indiana (“Boyhood Home of Abraham Lincoln”), Kentucky (“Birthplace of Abraham Lincoln”), Tennessee (“The State with the Same Number of ‘N’s in Its Name as Abraham Lincoln”) or Ohio (“Home of Many, Many Pennies”).
Listened to the audiobook of The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama, a presidential candidate with one year more experience in government than the man widely viewed by scholars and the public alike as our greatest president.
Cincinnati is recovering from a hurricane. That sentence shouldn’t even make sense, but sadly does.
Once again, meeting the people was the highlight, including Skeptic Dad blogger Colin Thornton, some top-notch freethought organizers in Cincinnati (FIG’s John and Fran Welte) and Indianapolis (CFI’s Reba Boyd Wooden), Camp Quest founders Edwin and Helen Kagin, children’s author and illustrator Craig Gosling and aspiring freethought author Chris Edwards — not to mention longtime blogreader and all-star PBB supporter matsonwaggs — and several others who are now mad at me for not mentioning them.
Special hat-tip to The Rathskeller in Indianapolis, a restaurant built by Kurt Vonnegut’s grandfather, where I was treated to the best traditional German meal I’ve ever had. That includes the six weeks I spent in Germany and Austria.
(This content-free blog post was brought to you by My Personal Exhaustion®. Tune in tomorrow for a somewhat more meaningful quickie before I head off to Iowa.)
Back on the blue roads
No Meming for a while–I’m back on the road. Seminar in Cincinnati Saturday morning, a talk to Free Inquiry Group in the afternoon, then a talk in Indianapolis for CFI Indiana. Best of all, I’m actually driving, not flying. Gas didn’t creep over $2 a gallon while I was in my study, did it?
Listening material on the road: Audacity of Hope audiobook; Radiohead; Imogen Heap; conservative talk radio of Tennessee and Kentucky; and the heartbeat of America (or, at the very least, the muffled gurglings of its gastro-intestinal tract).
Upcoming posts: The strangest opening interview question ever; Best Practices 2; Name the Brazilians!; Age stories; Vox populi (or why we can relax).
Need something to look at? I’ve added two pages in the menu: Videobamarama (a collection of videos and other graphics in support of Obama and, yes, opposed to McCain) and Why I support Barack Obama.
Reminder: the First Annual Parenting Beyond Belief Column Competition is heading into the final weeks. Your entry should tackle a subtopic within nonreligious parenting (as opposed to the topic on the whole) or a personal story from your own experience. Submissions should be attached in a Word document 600-800 words in length PLUS a bio of no more than 75 words, and emailed to column [at] parentingbeyondbelief dot com with the word COLUMN in the subject line. Because Labor Day delayed the announcement in Humanist Network News, I’ve pushed the deadline back to October 6.
See you Tuesday.
Somebody bring me a mirror
In preparation for the February release of Raising Freethinkers, my darling webmasters Eliot and Joe of Twist & Twirl have completed Phase II of the sitewide nip-and-tuck, including new colors, layout, and graphics on the home page (to complement the new book cover), contributor photos on the PBB Contributors page, and a new reduced-fat URL for the blog, with 48 percent fewer keystrokes: MemingofLife.com (the old URL will still work as well). There’s a News and Events window on your left. Why, we’ve even created some new rank names for the PBB Discussion Forums.
Now tell me you’re not excited. Feel free to take a walk around, then show yourself out. I’m going to bed.
What’s your frequency, Jehovah?
It’s been a hoot this week watching various progressive bloggers (including myself) trying to stop writing about the situation tragicomedy that is the Palin nomination. Slightly more worrisome is the growing awareness that desperation, with all of its likely dark strategies, is overtaking the GOP.
So let me say goodbye to this riveting political week with some calm, cerebral meta-analysis from the New York Times. After which I promise not to mention the name Sarah Palin ever again. Or at least until the Earth has traveled fully 1.6 million miles through space.
I blogged about concordances about a year ago, noting that the frequency of words used in a book can say a lot (though not everything) about a book. (Harp music and wavy lines…)
Below are concordances for two parenting books, with the 100 most common words in order of frequency (in batches of ten for easier reading). One is about raising kids using biblical principles; the other is about raising kids without religion. See if you can tell which is which, and whether the concordances reveal anything about content, approach, and tone:
BOOK A
1-10: children—parents—god—child—love—own—husband—family—lord—word
11-20: wife—teach—heart—sin—christ—father—need—life—things—even
21-30: kids—should—man—must—son—proverbs—parenting—mother—does—scripture
31-40: kind—wisdom—evil—first—church—shall—may—home—fear—authority
41-50: marriage—obey—christian—ephesians—law—work—right—come—principle—means
51-60: take—truth—wives—woman—time—true—good—himself—solomon—give
61-70: live—men—let—paul—role—society—duty—honor—commandment
71-80: obedience—responsibility—teaching—against—gospel—know—therefore—verse—discipline—people
81-90: submit—something—themselves—jesus—want—women—wrong—world—day—think
91-100: instruction—faith—always—attitude—command—ing—certainly—spiritual—genesis—nowBOOK B
1-10: children—god—parents—religious—time—people—child—good—things—life
11-20: family—religion—world—think—believe—secular—know—even—beliefs—may
21-30: years—questions—own—right—kids—human—death—reason—first—school
31-40: idea—need—day—should—ing—moral—see—live—want—new
41-50: book—help—now—find—say—take—work—answer—others—something
51-60: church—come—wonder—bob—values—age—friends—get—go—little
61-70: does—without—long—often—true—thinking—feel—stories—must—love
71-80: exist—part—give—important—really—animals—two—great—kind—might
81-90: humanist—best—look—seems—still—atheist—few—thought—mean—mind
91-100:kobir—different—though—meaning—experience—problem—always—fact—adults—ceremonyBook A is
Book B is
The first observation is among the most interesting: that these two books, though different in many, many ways, have the same top three words. Even more interesting is that the secular parenting book mentions God more often. Not entirely surprising if you think about it. The top four words in Quitting Smoking for Dummies are SMOKING, SMOKE, TOBACCO, and CIGARETTES.
I went on to note that the religious parenting book used words related to OBEDIENCE 22 times more often (relative to total word count) than the nonreligious parenting book.
Now the New York Times has created a graphic concordance for the principal speeches in the Democratic and Republican National Conventions, selecting 23 “big theme” words or phrases common to speeches at both events, and it’s equally revealing.
The most common of the selected words for the Democrats? CHANGE, which was heard 89 times per 25,000 words. Most common Republican word? GOD, at 43 times per 25K. (For all their pragmatic pandering to religion, Democrats could only muster half as many references to Jehovah — 22.)
Second of concern to the GOP from the list is TAXES (42), followed by CHANGE (30), BUSINESS (30), and ENERGY (26). BUSH was mentioned only seven times per 25,000 words, and the phrase “FOUR MORE YEARS,” for some inexplicable reason, not even once.
Ten of the words were in the mouths of Democrats more often than GOD. Second to CHANGE was MCCAIN (78), followed by ENERGY (49) and BUSH (46). And the phrase “FOUR MORE YEARS” occurred 14 times on this scale.
Okay. That’s it — the last installment of my tangent into politics. Next time it’s back to parenting, humanism, critical thinking, and Sarah Palin.
Dammit.
[See the complete Times graphic here.]
Ahh…you never forget your first meme
(Two serious posts already this week! Who’s up for some Friday blog candy?)
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The first time my kids saw our family photo on the back of Parenting Beyond Belief in a bookstore, they were elated. “We’re famous!” Erin squealed.
“Yes,” Laney replied, “but the quiet kind of famous.”
She had once said she wanted to be “one of those famous people on the magazine covers.” Becca replied that it might be fun in some ways, but you also lose your privacy, and everyone watches and talks about everything you do. “I still think that would be fun,” Laney insisted.
So we began narrating her every move: “She’s picking up her spoon. Why is she holding her hand that way? Ooh, she glared at our cameraman. What does she have to be angry about? Do you think Delaney McGowan is losing her mind? Take our online poll!”
“Aaahhh, okay okay okay!! I don’t want to be that kind of famous,” she said. “I want to do something famous, but nobody knows I’m the person who did it.” She searched for the right word. “I want to be the quiet kind of famous.”
My first brush with the quiet kind of famous was in 1977. It was a thrilling year for me. I turned fourteen. I kissed Kathy Myerson on the lips. And I got myself published.
It was a single sentence, but it was published in a no-kidding book that was carried in all the best cheesy paperback bookracks in every checkout line in America. The title was Murphy’s Law, Book 2: more reasons why things go wrong!, with the word “wrong” upside down. Get it?? High-larious!
I’d read the prequel — Murphy’s Law—and Other Reasons Things Go Wrong! stem to stern a dozen times the year before. I loved it:
Parkinson’s Law
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.The Law of Margarine Attraction
The odds of a piece of buttered bread landing butter-side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.Boob’s Law
You always find something in the last place you look.
I can just hear my zitty little self snickering: “Heh heh. Boobs.”
Not until the seventh or eighth time through did I see the invitation on the final page:
Do you have a law that explains why things go wrong? Send it to the following address, and who knows—you might find your idea in the next edition of MURPHY’S LAW!
My head tipped back and drool collected, Homer-like, at the corners of my mouth. Fame, aggghghhhh…
For two solid weeks I read Murphy’s Law again and again, absorbing the basic rhythm and cynical logic of the jokes. Most were in the form conditional, comma, punch. And the punch has the zing of Comic Truth. Got it.
I started looking for Comic Truths everywhere I went. School? No—plenty of comedy, plenty of truth, but never, it seemed, in combination. Home was too familiar. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but I watched for that rhythm and logic in Fred Flintstone, Speed Racer, Carol Burnett, the Professor and Mary Ann. Nothing rang the bell.
I was prepared to give it up when my mother dragged me with her to the Sears women’s department. I sat in emasculated agony outside the dressing room as she tried on several hundred skirts and blouses. A sign atop a nearby rack of clothes caught my bored eye. “ALL DRESSES ON THIS RACK UNDER $50,” it said.
“Pfft,” I thought. “If it says ‘under $50,’ you know it isn’t $19.95.”
I sat up with a shock of recognition. It was cynical. It was rhythmic. Conditional, comma, punch! I had my Law!
I tinkered with the name for a week, coming up at last with “McGowan’s Madison Avenue Axiom,” then wordsmithed the phrasing a bit. Finally I typed “If an item is advertised as ‘under $50,’ you can be damn sure it isn’t $19.95” and sent it in. Four to six weeks later, I had my answer.
I was in!
They had discreetly removed the word “damn,” but it was otherwise unchanged. My free copy arrived in the mail later that year, just weeks after I planted one on Kathy. I was published.
Thirty years passed, during which other stuff surely happened—until one afternoon in late 2007 when the words “Murphy’s Law” caught my eye in the corner of a website. I had become 44 years old and a writer of additional sentences, even whole paragraphs, in the interim. And though Kathy Myerson occasionally surfaced in the soup of memory, I hadn’t thought about my one-sentence publishing debut since the Carter Administration.
I decided on a lark to Google the name of my long-ago law. Everything seems to leave a footprint somewhere on line, even if it happened before there was an “online.” Sure enough, there was a footprint—and another, and another. And another. “McGowan’s Madison Avenue Axiom” appeared by name on over 200 sites. The phrase “you can bet it’s not $19.95” is on about 350. It is fortune cookie filler. It’s on websites of one-liners. (I always wondered who came up with those. Turns out it’s me.) People use it as a signature line in advertising discussion forums. It serves as text filler for forum spammers.
It has morphed into “McGowan’s Christmas Shopping Axiom” in, for some reason, Australia, France, and the Netherlands.
The dollar amounts sometimes change (“If an item is advertised as ‘under $40’, you can bet it’s not $9.95”) as do the manners (“If an item is advertised as ‘under $50’, you can bet your ass it’s not $19.95”).
It appears in the 26th (get it??) anniversary edition of the original book.
My favorite of all was seeing it quoted as the opening line in the Washington Post Bridge column just a few months earlier.
Okay then. I’ve mastered the quiet kind of famous. Now to work on the rich kind.
The Facelift
Welcome to the facelifted Meming of Life!
In addition to several minor tweaks (font color, title style, no more mysterious pseudo-Masonic MW&R logo, author mug, etc), I wanted a banner.
I’ve had a thaaang for Canadian artist Glendon Mellow’s beautiful blog The Flying Trilobite since I discovered it last summer. It’s awash with examples of its subtitle—Art in Awe of Science—which is why, when I wanted a banner for The Meming of Life, I turned immediately to Mr. Mellow.
As you can see from the incredible oil painting at the top, Glendon did NOT disappoint.
Glendon has posted a piece about the evolution of the banner on The Flying Trilobite, complete with early sketches, so I won’t go into that side of things too much. Suffice it to say that I gave poor Glendon almost no guidance whatsoever. And thank Thor for that! He immediately came up with four great ideas, two of which ended up combined in this rich and complex image.
I am deeply smitten with images that have multiple meanings. My publisher, for example, could not have pleased me more with the cover design for Parenting Beyond Belief (see sidebar). I’ll try to describe the layers of significance the banner has for me.
The basic narrative is this: A Neolithic parent’s careful painting of an aurochs is echoed in the child’s imitation. Satisfied with their work, parent and child walked off together across the beach.
Ahh, but then there are the layers of meaning for me:
> ANTHROPOLOGY and CULTURE
As an anthro major at UC Berkeley, I was gobsmacked by the opportunity to connect with individual human beings across 16,000 years through the paintings at Lascaux. The paintings represent one of oldest surviving expressions of human experience captured in a meme, or unit of culture—and is therefore an early example of the “meming” of life.
> PHILOSOPHY
Evokes Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, which raises questions about reality, illusion, and the human willingness to be deceived.
> MY OWN IRRATIONALITY
I am terrified of cows. You herd me. I think Glendon knew this, somehow, and felt I should see one every time I went to my own damn blog.
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> FOOTPRINTS
In addition to the parenting metaphor, two sets of footprints side by side are a simultaneous allusion to (1) the incredible 3.7 million year old hominid footprints at Laetoli in East Africa, which were excavated in part by my first anthropology professor, Tim White; AND (2) the sappy glurge “Footprints” ( “It was then that I carried you” ) which in turn never fails to remind me of the chokingly hilarious point-counterpoint version in The Onion.
> HUMOR
In addition to the hidden Onion reminder, the child’s Far-Side-like cow completely cracks me up.
> THE OCEAN
I’ve always loved this ocean metaphor of Isaac Newton’s–a nice metaphor for the humility of science properly conceived:
I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
The ocean also represents the POO (point of origin) for all life, including the aurochs/cow, the humans, the moss dangling at the entrance.
> PARENTING
Older than science, religion, art and culture.
I could go on. I’m just thrilled with it. Undying thanks to Glendon. Now go see his blog. Just remember to come back.
[HEY! If you haven’t read Becca’s second post, scroll down. It was bumped after a day and a half by the facelift, but it’s a must-read.]
reaching out to harry AND sally (3 of 3)
by Dale McGowan
[Third and final installment of the cover story in the current issue of Secular Nation. Back to part 1 and part 2.]
But what do we need to do to move farther? For one thing, we need to serve the needs of people who are quite different from Harry.
Harry was a freethought pioneer because he did not have the same needs or wants as most other people. He was able to leave the church behind because he was exceptional in this way. When people talk to me about the need for community or wax poetic about “something larger than myself” or seeking the “spiritual side” of life, my eyes glaze over. I mutter something about all the other ways in which I achieve community, about how I walk in the woods to get in touch with the transcendent, and so on. It’s all a tad forced. The truth is that I don’t feel these needs in quite the way I hear others express them.
As a result, I and all the rest of those with Harry personalities — whether male or female, and of whatever age or ethnicity — get together and talk quite happily about science and truth and reason. It’s not me I’m worried about—it’s Sally, left standing awkwardly by the coffee urn for ten paragraphs now.
Desperate for something to do, she ambles over to a table of books for sale. Every book without exception is about science, philosophy, critical thinking, or the debunking of religion or the paranormal. She meekly drifts to a group in conversation. Some religious dogma or other is being debunked with a flurry of critical argument and a smug, chuckling sneer.
Is there anything in the world less bearable than smugness, whether religious or secular? Anything?
I don’t know if I can keep up, she thinks. Rather than being welcomed into an accepting community, she has the distinct feeling she’d better watch what she says, lest she reveal some substandard thinking. Most of all, she is painfully aware that the chuckling sneer is directed at who she was the previous week.
The meeting begins to coalesce. After a few announcements, the speaker is introduced. And what will our new visitor hear for the next 45 minutes? Here’s a quick sampling of recent freethought meeting topics around the country:
- Jesus of Nazareth—Historical, Mythical, or Some of Each?
Religion as a Natural Phenomenon
Revelation Trumped by the Constitution
The Enlightenment and the Self
Who Wrote the Gospels?
Church/State—Strict Separation or Accommodation?
Debate: “To Believe or Not to Believe”
I’m interested in every one of these topics. Of course I am—I’m Harry. Sally though, not so much. If she comes again and has the same experience—an indifferent reception, an atmosphere of critical disdain, and a debunking lecture—the third time will rarely be a charm. Our brilliant, attractive outreach efforts will have been in vain.
I’ve heard it protested that I’m comparing apples and oranges. Freethought groups are not churches. They can’t be. This is true, of course—but if our prospective members seem to be allergic to oranges, might it be wise to take a closer look at them apples?
Rather than being welcomed into an accepting community, she has the distinct feeling she’d better watch what she says, lest she reveal some substandard thinking. Most of all, she is painfully aware that the chuckling sneer is directed at who she was the previous week.
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A recent post by SecularFuture, a moderator on the Internet Infidels discussion board, summed it up very well:
Religious communities are often filled with social events, music, poetry, inspiration, and life advice. It can be very difficult for someone to give all of this up for a few science books, Internet forums, and an arsenal of ammunition to use against the religious. Where is the poetry? Where is the inspiration?… Although many of us have already found meaning without religion, we should probably try to help those who haven’t.1 [Emphasis added.]
Fortunately, and at long last, many groups across the country are doing just that—expanding their topics, improving the atmosphere of their meetings, and turning to ever-greater involvement in good works. In addition to sponsoring a strip of highway, Secular Humanists of the Lowcountry began a marvelous “revolving charities” campaign last September, designating one charity each quarter as a spotlight beneficiary. In less than a year, thousands of dollars have gone toward orphan relief, domestic violence support services, medical research, and a residential facility for troubled youth. A few other groups are doing likewise. And from Portland to Albuquerque to Raleigh, nonreligious parenting groups and ethical education programs for kids are springing up, adding a family focus, more gender equity, and young blood.
The future of outreach
In one way, I worry that our current positive outreach efforts are too friendly—that they advertise a kinder, gentler freethought than actually exists yet on the ground. I hope both the sizzle and the steak can progress in tandem toward an even more humanistic future. I’d like to see soup kitchen, food pantry, and Habitat volunteering2 added to the freeway cleanups. I’d like to see a Tree of Compassion to complement the Tree of Knowledge. And I’d like to see a future billboard that moves beyond the lovely “you are not alone” to “you are warmly welcomed, just the way you are!”
“The good life,” said Bertrand Russell, “is inspired by love and guided by knowledge.” Thanks to Harry, we’ve got knowledge tackled. In the interest of Sally, and the millions like her, it’s time to match our beautiful outreach efforts with greater emphasis on compassion, emotion, humanity, and love.
[N.B. Though I’ve tried to make it explicit throughout this article, I feel the need to reiterate that both Harry and Sally are archetypes. There is certainly gender, age, and ethnic variation on both sides. But I think it is especially important to recognize that organized freethought tends older, whiter, and maler than the population average.]
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1Thread begun by forum moderator SecularFuture.
2 All of which are currently done by a few locals, and kudos to them.
